I haven't written in awhile, but today I was so fired up by the whole Ann Romney/Hillary Rosen debate I typed while I could. Here goes nothing....
Since I heard about Hillary Rosen’s comments this morning my mind has been swirling with thoughts. Its 1:04 pm, let’s see when this thing actually gets posted.
First, being a SAHM is hard. Period. At 12:47 pm my 3 year old son looked at me and asked why I was still in my pajamas? Not because I was being lazy, but because I hadn’t had a chance to change. Thankfully my 6 month old daughter is taking a nap so I am now dressed. Haven’t showered, but clean clothes is a bonus.
Since last Tuesday, I have done 23 loads of laundry. Yes, I counted. That’s what happens when you have two sick kids, one puking and one with green Hershey squirts because of a reaction to medication. Son woke up puking at 635 am last Tuesday, a few minutes after I walked in from spending all night in the ER with daughter.
I get on average 2-3 showers a week. I have to plan them.
Last night I went to bed early. It was 3:23 am. I am doing freelance work to supplement our income. I get, if lucky, 4-5 hours of sleep a night.
I have used nearly every item of clothing I own as a tissue.
My life is so carefree and without “work” it’s hilarious.
My two “bosses” are a 3 year old boy who has a mind of his own. He can be the sweetest little gentleman on the planet one minute, and a complete spazoid the next. Terrorists don’t need torture. The whining musings of toddlers on end will get them to spill the beans I can assure you. If this didn’t get them to talk, the cries of a baby teething surely would. At least my son can articulate what’s wrong. With my daughter it’s a constant guessing game. Guessing wrong sometimes makes me want to pull my hair out.
Yes my husband I made the choice for me to stay home, but this certainly was not a choice we initially made. Like millions of other Americans, I was laid off. TWICE.
First time was six days before we learned I was pregnant with our son. Second time was when my son was barely a year old and 6 months into my husband’s unemployment. So while I was fortunate to get a job 7.5 months pregnant, by the time my son turned 1, both his Mom and Dad were unemployed. Summer of 2009 was filled with Ramen, no AC, and lots of prayers.
Don’t talk to me about struggles or having the luxury of staying home. I cut coupons. My husband and I regularly discuss the thermostat settings that I keep low/high depending on the season to cut back our bills. I am so close to eliminating cable it’s not even funny. And no, I am not kidding.
My industry doesn’t exist anymore. I am in the process of going to back to school to change careers. In the meantime, I am home. We are not rich. Mitt Romney probably makes more in interest in a week than my husband earns in a month, maybe even two. We make lots of sacrifices. Haven’t had a date night in I don’t know how long. Have had more cereal dinners in the last three years than I did in my first 30.
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It’s now 3:24 pm. Load number 24 is in the wash and I am on third change since my original change at 12:47. I am back in pj bottoms. I gave my daughter a wash cloth bath on her changing table and wound up giving myself a wipes-wash because my hands and arms were nothing short of hazardous. Had the outfit she obliterated not been one on loan I would have cut it to get off. The Oxy-clean stain gel I bought less than 48 hours ago is more than ½ gone. My $1.70 lunch is in the microwave. At least my kids are entertaining themselves for the moment, although I did just lose my patience when my son asked me for the 1000th time today if we are going to the playground. The answer is still no.
**************
Now it’s 6:02 pm. I should be doing my work, but I am fired up and need to finish this. In case you are keeping track at home, while no new load of laundry is in, I have changed yet again. This time the pj bottoms are inside out. I know those who criticize SAHMs think this is glamorous. I know they are jealous.
This debate today angers me on so many levels. First, why do women feel the need to constantly berate each other for the choices they make? Being a SAHM, whether by choice or by accident, is not easy and is certainly not for everyone.
One friend has a utopian vision of what child rearing should be like and entail. She has a smile on during the day but I know is miserable being home all the time. Nothing is wrong with going back to work (assuming she can find it) but she believes her children are better suited with her constant presence. Likewise, working outside the home boasts its own challenges. Some women thrive at it. I have one friend who works in a very stressful job but somehow managed to get a picture of her daughter every single day of her first year of life. I was and am still amazed by this. I am not sure I have 365 different pictures of my monkey and cupcake combined, let alone even one of them. There is not a doubt in my mind she loves her daughter as much as I love my own children.
Women need to do what’s best for them and what fits their family. But staying home is not a luxury. This, above all else today, is probably what made me most angry. Another friend is a single mom. God Bless Her. Instead of going back to work in her chosen field – and she has a masters no less – she decided to take a job as a nanny so she could be with her son during those early years. I would pity the person who made the mistake of implying to her she was anything close to rich or lead an extravagant lifestyle. The sacrifices she has made are endless. I have told her more times than I care to count, I genuinely have no clue how she does it. She and other single moms/military moms are my heroes.
Why has our system gotten so out of whack that it’s ok to go after people for their own personal choices that in no way affect others. I believe many women who genuinely want to stay home could, it would require sacrifice and planning and certainly needs a supportive partner, as well as a village. If Hillary Rosen really wanted to stay home, she could. I would be stunned to find out otherwise. Maybe she couldn’t always go to Starbucks or eat at The Palm, but she could stay home. She doesn’t want to, and that’s fine.
My second point is to ask why is it ok to go after someone just because the other side did it. Rosen is no more the mouthpiece of Obama than Rush is of Mitt. Rush was wrong, dead wrong, to go after the Georgetown student. His words were visceral and counterproductive. And the GOP partisans that beat up Michelle Obama for her healthy eating campaign are just idiots. Michelle Obama is right on this issue, 1000%. But today of FB I saw all kinds of comments about how Rosen’s comments were somehow justified because GOP does it all the time. BOTH ARE WRONG!
Let’s discuss issues and come up with policy solutions so that every woman who really wants to stay home knows she can. And let’s not keep tearing each other down and vilifying women who do work outside the home as somehow elitist uncaring mothers.
At the end of the day we are all on the same team. We want to raise children that will be productive members of society that know just how much their moms and dads love them. As long as your kid doesn’t hurt my kid, I really don’t care how you go about doing this. Neither should anyone else.
It’s 6:39. Disney chicken time is calling, with a side of tater tots. Yeah, it’s five star dining at its finest.
Showing posts with label random musings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label random musings. Show all posts
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
800 sf of love: 3 Mary: 0
Yup, its been one of those days. And by the time these things happened, it was barely 1 pm.
Its one of the hottest days of the summer. My Monkey is 3 and pretty much loves the pool. Would spend all day there if we would let him. So, after going through the process of getting him and me both dressed, something at 7.5 months pregnant I am even slower at than under normal circumstances, we walk over to our pool with our floaty things, sunblock on, water bottles, towels, etc. Its after 12. Sadly, our pool, since we are still mostly a professional development, doesn't open until 1:30 -- right at the beginning of naptime! As I was walking back I saw at least two other sets of parents walking with young kids. I realize this sounds like a stupid complaint, but its a pain. My Monkey took the closure well and did not pitch a royal fit, but wanted to go to another pool. As if thats a possibility. So Mental note: In our "someday house" a term I have stolen from my college roommate because I love it, we will live near a pool that opens at a respectable hour...chances are this will happen with our luck right around the time our kids get sick of pools and think they are too cool to go. Such is life.
Second defeat came at the hand of our thoughtless neighbor. Decided we would turn the sprinkler on so he could run around and stay cool. The one we are supposed to use, according to condo rules since its closest to us, was not in use, but was also not usable. Turns out our thoughtless neighbors, who I will call Patti and Selma, decided they should run the hose into their patio for exclusive use. I guess I could have just pulled the hose, but their patio looks like the wild kingdom with tons of plants and heaven only knows what else growing in there. I didnt want to yank in case I knocked something over. It just amazes me how thoughtless they can be, as if the hose is just for their exclusive use? So Mental note #2: Make sure our Someday House is almost entirely self sufficient so we dont have to be bothered by selfish people. Ugh.
The final blow was actually the worst one and came first. But it still gives me pause. Our craptastic washer machine was "Fixed" by the idiots at Sears this weekend so after more than a month of it being out of commission and me doing exactly what the guy said to make it run properly, I went to use it. Problem was, the door to the washer/dryer (which are hidden in what was presumably once a closet) blocked the soap dispenser, so I had to pull off. I figured my hubby would fix tonight, so placed away from washer/dryer and near our bedroom in the hall. I assumed it was upright secure.
Wrong.
My Monkey went to walk back to his room and the damn door fell...CRASH! He screamed and I screamed and ran (faster than I have in a long time). How this thing missed him and everything else in that narrow hallway, escapes me. Clearly this was an act of God, because something should have been damaged other than my heart rate, but it wasnt. He was just scared and I was too. Now the door lies flat, halfway in our bathroom and halfway in our bedroom, taking up the entire floor. There it will stay until Daddy gets home. I cant believe our fortune and thank God He was looking out for us, because this could have been a lot worse. A lot.
Now in addition to praying for a healthy baby, I also pray for some resolution to our housing situation, because one of these days someone is going to get hurt due to the space, and that really scares me.
Its one of the hottest days of the summer. My Monkey is 3 and pretty much loves the pool. Would spend all day there if we would let him. So, after going through the process of getting him and me both dressed, something at 7.5 months pregnant I am even slower at than under normal circumstances, we walk over to our pool with our floaty things, sunblock on, water bottles, towels, etc. Its after 12. Sadly, our pool, since we are still mostly a professional development, doesn't open until 1:30 -- right at the beginning of naptime! As I was walking back I saw at least two other sets of parents walking with young kids. I realize this sounds like a stupid complaint, but its a pain. My Monkey took the closure well and did not pitch a royal fit, but wanted to go to another pool. As if thats a possibility. So Mental note: In our "someday house" a term I have stolen from my college roommate because I love it, we will live near a pool that opens at a respectable hour...chances are this will happen with our luck right around the time our kids get sick of pools and think they are too cool to go. Such is life.
Second defeat came at the hand of our thoughtless neighbor. Decided we would turn the sprinkler on so he could run around and stay cool. The one we are supposed to use, according to condo rules since its closest to us, was not in use, but was also not usable. Turns out our thoughtless neighbors, who I will call Patti and Selma, decided they should run the hose into their patio for exclusive use. I guess I could have just pulled the hose, but their patio looks like the wild kingdom with tons of plants and heaven only knows what else growing in there. I didnt want to yank in case I knocked something over. It just amazes me how thoughtless they can be, as if the hose is just for their exclusive use? So Mental note #2: Make sure our Someday House is almost entirely self sufficient so we dont have to be bothered by selfish people. Ugh.
The final blow was actually the worst one and came first. But it still gives me pause. Our craptastic washer machine was "Fixed" by the idiots at Sears this weekend so after more than a month of it being out of commission and me doing exactly what the guy said to make it run properly, I went to use it. Problem was, the door to the washer/dryer (which are hidden in what was presumably once a closet) blocked the soap dispenser, so I had to pull off. I figured my hubby would fix tonight, so placed away from washer/dryer and near our bedroom in the hall. I assumed it was upright secure.
Wrong.
My Monkey went to walk back to his room and the damn door fell...CRASH! He screamed and I screamed and ran (faster than I have in a long time). How this thing missed him and everything else in that narrow hallway, escapes me. Clearly this was an act of God, because something should have been damaged other than my heart rate, but it wasnt. He was just scared and I was too. Now the door lies flat, halfway in our bathroom and halfway in our bedroom, taking up the entire floor. There it will stay until Daddy gets home. I cant believe our fortune and thank God He was looking out for us, because this could have been a lot worse. A lot.
Now in addition to praying for a healthy baby, I also pray for some resolution to our housing situation, because one of these days someone is going to get hurt due to the space, and that really scares me.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
I'm scared
On the weekends my husband and I take turns "sleeping in." Its a relative term. Once our son wakes up there is little chance of falling completely back to sleep, but the "off" parent gets to stay in bed until 10 am or so and fall in and out consciousness. In a word, its awesome!
My husband prefers Saturday to sleep in, so today as I woke up and was playing with our son, I was also thinking two months down the road.
Obviously our weekend sleep-in routine is going to go bye-bye. But the reality is beginning to set in that we are going to have four people in this condo. And its the smallest person who will have the largest effect.
S/he will have a swing and a floor mat. Where will they go?
S/he will sleep, cry, poop, eat, repeat for the first three months or so with no rhym or reason to schedule. How is this timing going to work in a space that is mind numbingly small and where there is no escape from even the simplist noise? Will we take him/her into the kitchen when s/he starts crying? Will this small area off to the side shield our son at 3 am from his/her cries?
A girlfriend suggested going through our son's toys and only saving two cratefuls. This is a great idea, one I will likely try to utilize. But he actually PLAYS with his truck, and his two garages, not to mention stepstool and huge new fire truck. These aren't items that can simply disappear. His world is going to change enough as it is come September, we are not getting rid of his favorites.
I have begun to look into storage facilities so we can store some of our clothes and books that seem to take up endless amounts of room. We cant continue to take advantage of my SILs generosity with their basements.
So in a nutshell I am scared. I have complained ad nauseum for months, but now that the reality is HERE, I have no clue how we will manage. I accept God gives us challenges and this is ours, but its anyone's guess how we will manage.
I looked online this morning for places similar to the one we found last week, and no dice. Nothing even comparable. Ugh.
Things will be ok. We will survive. But I am curious and frightened to see how this ride will evolve...I guess it will be like Space Mountain, an awesome rollar coster in the dark. Once the ride is over I will look back with fondness and excitement, but while on it I will be (and already am) scared $h!#le%%.
Happy Saturday to all.
My husband prefers Saturday to sleep in, so today as I woke up and was playing with our son, I was also thinking two months down the road.
Obviously our weekend sleep-in routine is going to go bye-bye. But the reality is beginning to set in that we are going to have four people in this condo. And its the smallest person who will have the largest effect.
S/he will have a swing and a floor mat. Where will they go?
S/he will sleep, cry, poop, eat, repeat for the first three months or so with no rhym or reason to schedule. How is this timing going to work in a space that is mind numbingly small and where there is no escape from even the simplist noise? Will we take him/her into the kitchen when s/he starts crying? Will this small area off to the side shield our son at 3 am from his/her cries?
A girlfriend suggested going through our son's toys and only saving two cratefuls. This is a great idea, one I will likely try to utilize. But he actually PLAYS with his truck, and his two garages, not to mention stepstool and huge new fire truck. These aren't items that can simply disappear. His world is going to change enough as it is come September, we are not getting rid of his favorites.
I have begun to look into storage facilities so we can store some of our clothes and books that seem to take up endless amounts of room. We cant continue to take advantage of my SILs generosity with their basements.
So in a nutshell I am scared. I have complained ad nauseum for months, but now that the reality is HERE, I have no clue how we will manage. I accept God gives us challenges and this is ours, but its anyone's guess how we will manage.
I looked online this morning for places similar to the one we found last week, and no dice. Nothing even comparable. Ugh.
Things will be ok. We will survive. But I am curious and frightened to see how this ride will evolve...I guess it will be like Space Mountain, an awesome rollar coster in the dark. Once the ride is over I will look back with fondness and excitement, but while on it I will be (and already am) scared $h!#le%%.
Happy Saturday to all.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Our life
I have said recently as I try to save money, but seem to have less time to post, that I am going to post more about what its LIKE to live in 800 sf and how this stresses me/how we survive.
This post is along those lines.
We decided to try to rent a townhouse because of our expanding family. We had been looking for a place that fit out budget, we liked, was close enough for my husband to still see our children, and close to our son's new preschool in the fall. Finding this combo was a challenge. But we did it! We found the perfect TH. It was at the top of our budget, but great neighborhood, clean, safe, near friends and family. I knew from the getgo it was too good to be true and that we wouldnt get it. But i never envisioned the WHY.
We visited on Saturday, and submitted our application (including all personal information) as well as a deposit on Monday. The application clearly states whoever signs the lease first gets the place. Fair enough. I was reasonably sure that we were in good shape considering how switftly we moved. Emails from the owner were pleasant and while not overly encouraging, surely not discouraging either. Our credit is stellar so the only way we would not get this place is if someone signed first.
We found out last night that someone had been approved and had lease in hand since last Wednesday, three days BEFORE we even saw the place and five days before we gave our application! I was livid. I burst into tears. I cant believe that he would have an open house AND accept applications knowing someone else had already been approved and had lease in hand. I understand he wanted to cover his ass, but seriously!!
This took a lot of energy out of me. It would have been a quick and stressful move but it would have been worth it. Now we are back to square one. I am scared to death on how we are going to fit FOUR people in 800 sf, especially when the smallest one comes with the most stuff. I hate that my husbands life is essentially going to be groundhog day for the next six months of coming home from work, playing with our son, cleaning up all the toys, eat dinner, go to bed. Repeat.
I will have to go back to work full time or part time more consistently and I hate this. I hate that no banks will even talk to us about refinancing despite steallar credit. Basically I hate our situation and the fact there is NOTHING we can do to change it.
Yes we are blessed and I do count our blessings. We have our health, our love and our children and thats all that matters, but this challenge of 800 sf is going to be the death of me I am sure.
Ugh.
This post is along those lines.
We decided to try to rent a townhouse because of our expanding family. We had been looking for a place that fit out budget, we liked, was close enough for my husband to still see our children, and close to our son's new preschool in the fall. Finding this combo was a challenge. But we did it! We found the perfect TH. It was at the top of our budget, but great neighborhood, clean, safe, near friends and family. I knew from the getgo it was too good to be true and that we wouldnt get it. But i never envisioned the WHY.
We visited on Saturday, and submitted our application (including all personal information) as well as a deposit on Monday. The application clearly states whoever signs the lease first gets the place. Fair enough. I was reasonably sure that we were in good shape considering how switftly we moved. Emails from the owner were pleasant and while not overly encouraging, surely not discouraging either. Our credit is stellar so the only way we would not get this place is if someone signed first.
We found out last night that someone had been approved and had lease in hand since last Wednesday, three days BEFORE we even saw the place and five days before we gave our application! I was livid. I burst into tears. I cant believe that he would have an open house AND accept applications knowing someone else had already been approved and had lease in hand. I understand he wanted to cover his ass, but seriously!!
This took a lot of energy out of me. It would have been a quick and stressful move but it would have been worth it. Now we are back to square one. I am scared to death on how we are going to fit FOUR people in 800 sf, especially when the smallest one comes with the most stuff. I hate that my husbands life is essentially going to be groundhog day for the next six months of coming home from work, playing with our son, cleaning up all the toys, eat dinner, go to bed. Repeat.
I will have to go back to work full time or part time more consistently and I hate this. I hate that no banks will even talk to us about refinancing despite steallar credit. Basically I hate our situation and the fact there is NOTHING we can do to change it.
Yes we are blessed and I do count our blessings. We have our health, our love and our children and thats all that matters, but this challenge of 800 sf is going to be the death of me I am sure.
Ugh.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Now, I need to read yesterdays post
I need to sit down and reread my own post from yesterday. We need to count our blessings. We are ok. Breathe. Repeat.
A neighbor is selling her condo and I was talking to her realtor today about the economy, the market and basically where things stand. It was a very disappointing conversation.
Basically he said it will be 5 years before the market returns to where it was when we bought in 2005. Our son will be 8 - let's just state here this is a concept I simply cannot grasp, it seems like he was just born and he is afterall still in diapers. His still yet to be born sibling will be 5. Staying here this long is simply not an option.
So I am likely going to have to return to the paid workforce before I want. I love being home with my son, having playdates and watching him grow. I am so close to finished when it comes to becoming a certified teacher, but this will be put on hold if I go back - even part time.
My husband says if the worst that happens is I have to go back pt than we are ok. He is right. We have been very fortunate that I have been able stay home as long as I have. I have cherished every minute. But I feel that if I do go back Baby #2 is somehow being cheated. But s/he will never know the difference, unlike our son who hated going to "school" when he was 2 1/2. We have kept in there now once a week just to keep this option open AND because its good for him to get social skills -- not to mention I need a day to do house administation tasks like bills and the like.
I still hate that we are getting screwed. Why wont any bank help us??? We are the good people, not the ones who took out too much. Not the ones who miss payments. You can add the realtor from yesterday to the people who suggested we miss payments. Ugh!
A neighbor is selling her condo and I was talking to her realtor today about the economy, the market and basically where things stand. It was a very disappointing conversation.
Basically he said it will be 5 years before the market returns to where it was when we bought in 2005. Our son will be 8 - let's just state here this is a concept I simply cannot grasp, it seems like he was just born and he is afterall still in diapers. His still yet to be born sibling will be 5. Staying here this long is simply not an option.
So I am likely going to have to return to the paid workforce before I want. I love being home with my son, having playdates and watching him grow. I am so close to finished when it comes to becoming a certified teacher, but this will be put on hold if I go back - even part time.
My husband says if the worst that happens is I have to go back pt than we are ok. He is right. We have been very fortunate that I have been able stay home as long as I have. I have cherished every minute. But I feel that if I do go back Baby #2 is somehow being cheated. But s/he will never know the difference, unlike our son who hated going to "school" when he was 2 1/2. We have kept in there now once a week just to keep this option open AND because its good for him to get social skills -- not to mention I need a day to do house administation tasks like bills and the like.
I still hate that we are getting screwed. Why wont any bank help us??? We are the good people, not the ones who took out too much. Not the ones who miss payments. You can add the realtor from yesterday to the people who suggested we miss payments. Ugh!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Count our blessings....
That's what I emailed my husband yesterday after learning a friends home had been turned upside down by contractors hired to fix their lead problem. She and her husband and two small boys (both under 4) are now living in a 1 br high rise because the contractors broke pipes, flooded the basement and made the kitchen structurally unsound. They are in month 2 of the high rise and she guesses it will be another 2 months at least before they can move back home. The good news is her son who had the lead issues which brought about the move in the first place, has been cleared by his doctor.
This definitively qualifies as an emergency and she said they have depleted their savings but its a no brainer.
I have three other friends who come to mind who are single mothers. How they have managed to raise so far healthy, happy and well balanced kids almost entirely on their own, as well as maintained their own sanity amazes me. They are my heroes. This is not an exaggeration. I hate it when my husband leaves on a business trip for 4 days. I hate it when our son has a virus during the workday and I am home alone dealing with his puke. I know God doesn't put anything on our plates we can't handle, but man these ladies seem to be carrying more than their fair share...and all I can say is good help the fathers if I should ever see them, especially if I have enjoyed adult beverages of late. These men are pond scum as far as I am concerned.
I have friends who are in loveless marriages, and other friends whose only time with their children is in the car on their way to and from work. One friend recently nearly cried as she described her daily commute and lamented hardly ever getting to see her son awake.
So here we are. I am still madly in love with my husband and he proves every day that despite my growing belly, my constant nagging to pick up his socks and shirts from the floor in any given room and my alleged-bed hogging ways, that he feels the same. We play with our son in the morning before he goes to work and at night when he gets home from work. We eat dinner together most nights and there are even some days when we drive into his office and have a picnic lunch so our son can look at the bells outside -- something that fascinates him. We have a good car which is reliable and safe for The Monkey and his baby sister/brother due in September.
I have been thinking a lot lately about our blessings. Between the tornadoes in North Carolina (which I experienced first hand when I was there and had to run into an unknown brick structure to escape, while my childhood friend affectionately refered to as DA stayed in the car because she "felt safer") Alabama (did you read the Sports Illustrated story, I am linking it here but I think you have to be a subscriber...if not, go to library its incredible!) and now Missouri, as well the above stories about our friends, I am reminded everyday we are ok.
Yes, I will complain endlessly about our 800 sf, it drives me crazy. And I hate that we have so much C-R-A-P in our house but cant seem to pitch or part with. I hate that we are beholden to the weather and the community gods in hopes we can have a birthday celebration for our son at a local park and not have to worry about others taking the grill first. I hate that I can hardly ever host playdates because I feel our place is so cramped.
But with all that said, I would not trade with any of my friends right now. Those that have bigger houses, more money or live in an area that is less expensive. It seems in life we all have our challenges. Our challenge is keeping sane in 800 sf and trying to keep our head above water. So far we are surviving (even if barely), but compared to the challenges of others, I will take this in a heartbeat.
This definitively qualifies as an emergency and she said they have depleted their savings but its a no brainer.
I have three other friends who come to mind who are single mothers. How they have managed to raise so far healthy, happy and well balanced kids almost entirely on their own, as well as maintained their own sanity amazes me. They are my heroes. This is not an exaggeration. I hate it when my husband leaves on a business trip for 4 days. I hate it when our son has a virus during the workday and I am home alone dealing with his puke. I know God doesn't put anything on our plates we can't handle, but man these ladies seem to be carrying more than their fair share...and all I can say is good help the fathers if I should ever see them, especially if I have enjoyed adult beverages of late. These men are pond scum as far as I am concerned.
I have friends who are in loveless marriages, and other friends whose only time with their children is in the car on their way to and from work. One friend recently nearly cried as she described her daily commute and lamented hardly ever getting to see her son awake.
So here we are. I am still madly in love with my husband and he proves every day that despite my growing belly, my constant nagging to pick up his socks and shirts from the floor in any given room and my alleged-bed hogging ways, that he feels the same. We play with our son in the morning before he goes to work and at night when he gets home from work. We eat dinner together most nights and there are even some days when we drive into his office and have a picnic lunch so our son can look at the bells outside -- something that fascinates him. We have a good car which is reliable and safe for The Monkey and his baby sister/brother due in September.
I have been thinking a lot lately about our blessings. Between the tornadoes in North Carolina (which I experienced first hand when I was there and had to run into an unknown brick structure to escape, while my childhood friend affectionately refered to as DA stayed in the car because she "felt safer") Alabama (did you read the Sports Illustrated story, I am linking it here but I think you have to be a subscriber...if not, go to library its incredible!) and now Missouri, as well the above stories about our friends, I am reminded everyday we are ok.
Yes, I will complain endlessly about our 800 sf, it drives me crazy. And I hate that we have so much C-R-A-P in our house but cant seem to pitch or part with. I hate that we are beholden to the weather and the community gods in hopes we can have a birthday celebration for our son at a local park and not have to worry about others taking the grill first. I hate that I can hardly ever host playdates because I feel our place is so cramped.
But with all that said, I would not trade with any of my friends right now. Those that have bigger houses, more money or live in an area that is less expensive. It seems in life we all have our challenges. Our challenge is keeping sane in 800 sf and trying to keep our head above water. So far we are surviving (even if barely), but compared to the challenges of others, I will take this in a heartbeat.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Yes...we are still here!
But the original Blue Patched Couch is long gone!
That's one of the many many changes we have encountered since I last wrote. I am sad that its been nearly four months! Where does the time go? Oh I know, life gets in the way and before you know it seasons change, babies grow and life evolves.
These observations aside, I do hope that I can get back in the swing of writing and saving, both of which have taken a big hit of late (more on that below). The updates:
1. The original BPC was laid to rest in late November, 2010. It was a wonderful couch and served a fantastic purpose. We will always be grateful to our friends A&E for giving us a perfectly good and extremely comfortable couch! However, after seven years and a very active toddler, it was time to move on. Specifics aside, I think all parents know what I am talking about, some stains and smells just can't be removed and I simply didn't have the energy to keep patching.
Our new couch is a blue sofa-bed. I will admit its not as comfortable to sit on as the old one, but the sofabed makes a world of difference! It has been affectionately dubbed "Auntie Kerry and Auntie Cory's" bed by The Monkey because they were the first to stay here. And this winter we have needed it!
2. The Monkey will be a big brother come fall! How we are going to manage 4 people in our 800 sf escapes me, but somehow we will. I had dreams of moving to a larger place and renting our condo out, and I still have these dreams, but right now its not in the cards. These last few months I have been so sick and tired. And The Monkey as well as my husband have also had their own sicknesses, that this place has been nuts. On top of that I am going back to school to get my teacher certification, so my free time has been negligable. Literally.
3. Our savings have taken a hit. We still have money for an emergency, but if you remember last summer we had to have emergency bathroom work done that was big money. Well we put that on credit because I didn't want to deplete our savings to pay for and we still have this (plus a little more) debt. We are making progress though and I think we should be well on way by the end of the year. I am being honest about this because while we are no longer debt free there are some expenses you just can't not pay, and this was one of them. We could have paid it off in full but we have a zero % credit card and we weren't comfortable not having anything cash-wise in the bank. I hate carrying the balance, but my sanity is better off because we did it this way.
I have been doing some freelance work to help make ends meet and we are managing to save a decent amount of this money, right now its about 20 percent after childcare is paid for, so thats good.
I sincerely hope I can back in the swing of finding deals, sending them along and letting you know how we are making ends meet. I have missed this.
Happy Savings!
That's one of the many many changes we have encountered since I last wrote. I am sad that its been nearly four months! Where does the time go? Oh I know, life gets in the way and before you know it seasons change, babies grow and life evolves.
These observations aside, I do hope that I can get back in the swing of writing and saving, both of which have taken a big hit of late (more on that below). The updates:
1. The original BPC was laid to rest in late November, 2010. It was a wonderful couch and served a fantastic purpose. We will always be grateful to our friends A&E for giving us a perfectly good and extremely comfortable couch! However, after seven years and a very active toddler, it was time to move on. Specifics aside, I think all parents know what I am talking about, some stains and smells just can't be removed and I simply didn't have the energy to keep patching.
Our new couch is a blue sofa-bed. I will admit its not as comfortable to sit on as the old one, but the sofabed makes a world of difference! It has been affectionately dubbed "Auntie Kerry and Auntie Cory's" bed by The Monkey because they were the first to stay here. And this winter we have needed it!
2. The Monkey will be a big brother come fall! How we are going to manage 4 people in our 800 sf escapes me, but somehow we will. I had dreams of moving to a larger place and renting our condo out, and I still have these dreams, but right now its not in the cards. These last few months I have been so sick and tired. And The Monkey as well as my husband have also had their own sicknesses, that this place has been nuts. On top of that I am going back to school to get my teacher certification, so my free time has been negligable. Literally.
3. Our savings have taken a hit. We still have money for an emergency, but if you remember last summer we had to have emergency bathroom work done that was big money. Well we put that on credit because I didn't want to deplete our savings to pay for and we still have this (plus a little more) debt. We are making progress though and I think we should be well on way by the end of the year. I am being honest about this because while we are no longer debt free there are some expenses you just can't not pay, and this was one of them. We could have paid it off in full but we have a zero % credit card and we weren't comfortable not having anything cash-wise in the bank. I hate carrying the balance, but my sanity is better off because we did it this way.
I have been doing some freelance work to help make ends meet and we are managing to save a decent amount of this money, right now its about 20 percent after childcare is paid for, so thats good.
I sincerely hope I can back in the swing of finding deals, sending them along and letting you know how we are making ends meet. I have missed this.
Happy Savings!
Monday, October 25, 2010
October was a bust
The best part about October is that it is almost over. We blew past all our budgets! But hopefully by getting in the swing of things now this will help us come the holidays.
Last night we had an awkward moment, so to speak. We went out to dinner to celebrate a family birthday. Our meals (the 3 of us) came to about $40 with tax and tip. But since it was a celebration originally there was talk of splitting the bill 3 ways. This would have made our portion $95. I couldn't do it. I was embarrassed, yes, but I couldn't do this. I felt a bit like Phoebe (or was it Rachel) and Joey in an old Friends episode where one had a salad and was going to pay $50.
I honestly told my brother and SIL we couldnt do this. They didn't seem upset and just said pay what you could. So we chipped in for the birthday boy dinner and added extra for tax and tip. Our total was considerably less than $95, and while it was momentary embarrassment, I can deal. Having an extra $40 on Amex when we can't afford it is not a good idea. I think/hope my bros understood.
Hopefully November will be better. We have a freezer full of food so we should be able to make most meals at home. And my husband and I came to an agreement about his lunches. It understandably gets boring have a deli sandwich every day. So he can go out once a week. But if he chooses to go out twice (ala last week) then the following week he can't go out at all.
We are making headway and I firmly believe all our struggles and money saving lessons are going to help us when (and not IF) we become more financially sound.
Happy Monday!
Last night we had an awkward moment, so to speak. We went out to dinner to celebrate a family birthday. Our meals (the 3 of us) came to about $40 with tax and tip. But since it was a celebration originally there was talk of splitting the bill 3 ways. This would have made our portion $95. I couldn't do it. I was embarrassed, yes, but I couldn't do this. I felt a bit like Phoebe (or was it Rachel) and Joey in an old Friends episode where one had a salad and was going to pay $50.
I honestly told my brother and SIL we couldnt do this. They didn't seem upset and just said pay what you could. So we chipped in for the birthday boy dinner and added extra for tax and tip. Our total was considerably less than $95, and while it was momentary embarrassment, I can deal. Having an extra $40 on Amex when we can't afford it is not a good idea. I think/hope my bros understood.
Hopefully November will be better. We have a freezer full of food so we should be able to make most meals at home. And my husband and I came to an agreement about his lunches. It understandably gets boring have a deli sandwich every day. So he can go out once a week. But if he chooses to go out twice (ala last week) then the following week he can't go out at all.
We are making headway and I firmly believe all our struggles and money saving lessons are going to help us when (and not IF) we become more financially sound.
Happy Monday!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Some hard choices
I don't even remember her name. She said she was calling to collect a debt! She called from Wells Fargo, the owner of our first mortgage.
Let's establish some facts:
1. We have never missed a payment
2. We have an above 800 credit score
3. WF has repeatedly refused to refinance or modify us for reasons that escape me.
4. WF has tried to put us in short sale but we don't want this - see #1.
5. There is no amount of stupid juice we can ever drink to make up for the utterly stupid decision we made to buy our condo in 2005 with two loans. This is far and away the stupidist decision we ever made. Makes my idea of cutting my own bangs in grade school look genius!
Apparently we have been assessed a $75 fee for our attempts to modify or refinance! They have some nerve. We earn significantly less than we did when we were both employed, childless and applied for our mortgage. They won't help us, refuse to, but they will charge us $75 for exploring our options. And the only option they can come up with is offering us a short sale.
The poor woman who made the call experienced my full wrath. Its not her fault her company sucks! She definitely made her salary today, and then some.
Its increasingly clear I will have to go back to work and this makes me very sad. I really don't want to. I enjoy playing with our monkey. Today he realized I wasnt wearing shoes when I ran out to put out the garbage as the truck came in our court. Don't go out with no shoes Mommy! That made my day.
He is 2 and a total joy. He tells me all kinds of stories and remembers that Connor gave him a tractor and he thanked him. Tonight he remembered that he saw Otters with Grandma and PopPop. I don't want to miss this time. But the reality is living in DC area is prohibitively expensive. We simply can't make ends meet on one salary, especially if we are going to have to pay Wells Fargo (who despite what all their ads say, is not WITH US all the way) $75, not to mention pay my doctor $120 for having to go see her after the monkey gave me strep in May. Lucky us, that bill arrived today.
I don't know what I will do. I know I don't want to do anything and that will be hard to cover. I have the best job and I hate losing it.
Let's establish some facts:
1. We have never missed a payment
2. We have an above 800 credit score
3. WF has repeatedly refused to refinance or modify us for reasons that escape me.
4. WF has tried to put us in short sale but we don't want this - see #1.
5. There is no amount of stupid juice we can ever drink to make up for the utterly stupid decision we made to buy our condo in 2005 with two loans. This is far and away the stupidist decision we ever made. Makes my idea of cutting my own bangs in grade school look genius!
Apparently we have been assessed a $75 fee for our attempts to modify or refinance! They have some nerve. We earn significantly less than we did when we were both employed, childless and applied for our mortgage. They won't help us, refuse to, but they will charge us $75 for exploring our options. And the only option they can come up with is offering us a short sale.
The poor woman who made the call experienced my full wrath. Its not her fault her company sucks! She definitely made her salary today, and then some.
Its increasingly clear I will have to go back to work and this makes me very sad. I really don't want to. I enjoy playing with our monkey. Today he realized I wasnt wearing shoes when I ran out to put out the garbage as the truck came in our court. Don't go out with no shoes Mommy! That made my day.
He is 2 and a total joy. He tells me all kinds of stories and remembers that Connor gave him a tractor and he thanked him. Tonight he remembered that he saw Otters with Grandma and PopPop. I don't want to miss this time. But the reality is living in DC area is prohibitively expensive. We simply can't make ends meet on one salary, especially if we are going to have to pay Wells Fargo (who despite what all their ads say, is not WITH US all the way) $75, not to mention pay my doctor $120 for having to go see her after the monkey gave me strep in May. Lucky us, that bill arrived today.
I don't know what I will do. I know I don't want to do anything and that will be hard to cover. I have the best job and I hate losing it.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Back to being honest
I have gotten out of habit of writing here, and it has shown on our monthly budget. So today after I decided to redo everything and see where things stand (and not liking what I saw), I decided I am coming back and STAYING! And if its only interseting to me and helps keep me honest, so be it.
I read somewhere recently that its easier to budget for a week than a month, this sounds right. So starting this week, we will have $85 to spend out of pocket on all items not regularly billed, this includes food and gas. This is $85 total for both of us. And once the $85 is gone, its gone. Not included in this $85 are things we previously committed to as of TODAY, or say big items like mortgage and car payment. It also doesn't include the money we are saving each month, currently $100.
Each day I pack a lunch for my husband, so that helps us save considerably. Beginning today though I have planned out our meals for the week. For the most part I am pleased to say we have nearly all the ingredients in the house. This weeks menu:
Sunday: burgers (ground beef here), need to buy buns.
Monday: Steak (have here frozen). Using this recipe from Ree Drummond, and we have all the ingredients sans the cream. I am going to substitute half and half to save money, will let you know how it goes.
Tuesday: Chicken Friend Rice Hamburger Helper (have)
Wednesday: I am doing my monthly ethnic dinner with my brother, so my husband will be home. He will have pasta and sausage (which we already have).
Thursday: Crock Pot meal TBD
Friday: Homemade pizza. Need to buy dough, but have toppings and fixins already.
Saturday: Crab feast, previously committed to.
Each night I will come on and let you know what we spent/bought and how we are doing.
Anything left over from the $85 will go back into the monthly pot, and at the end of the month if there is anything, will be put into savings. I guess the first update will be on Oct. 24, since I am starting this on Sept. 26.
Happy Sunday everyone and go Ravens!!!
I read somewhere recently that its easier to budget for a week than a month, this sounds right. So starting this week, we will have $85 to spend out of pocket on all items not regularly billed, this includes food and gas. This is $85 total for both of us. And once the $85 is gone, its gone. Not included in this $85 are things we previously committed to as of TODAY, or say big items like mortgage and car payment. It also doesn't include the money we are saving each month, currently $100.
Each day I pack a lunch for my husband, so that helps us save considerably. Beginning today though I have planned out our meals for the week. For the most part I am pleased to say we have nearly all the ingredients in the house. This weeks menu:
Sunday: burgers (ground beef here), need to buy buns.
Monday: Steak (have here frozen). Using this recipe from Ree Drummond, and we have all the ingredients sans the cream. I am going to substitute half and half to save money, will let you know how it goes.
Tuesday: Chicken Friend Rice Hamburger Helper (have)
Wednesday: I am doing my monthly ethnic dinner with my brother, so my husband will be home. He will have pasta and sausage (which we already have).
Thursday: Crock Pot meal TBD
Friday: Homemade pizza. Need to buy dough, but have toppings and fixins already.
Saturday: Crab feast, previously committed to.
Each night I will come on and let you know what we spent/bought and how we are doing.
Anything left over from the $85 will go back into the monthly pot, and at the end of the month if there is anything, will be put into savings. I guess the first update will be on Oct. 24, since I am starting this on Sept. 26.
Happy Sunday everyone and go Ravens!!!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Reusing ziploc baggies only gets me so far...
Lately I have been thinking a lot about whether or not I should try to re-enter the workforce. Since my second lay off due to the craptastic economy in May 2009 I have been home full time. I have looked for jobs, and am currently interviewing for two part time jobs, but nothing has excited me.
My most important job, I feel, is taking car of my family. That means cooking, cleaning, feeding, making sure my boys are healthy, keeping the house (relatively) neat, keeping myself healthy, shopping, banking, making sure our finances are in check...the list goes on and on.
Its this last point that has me on edge though lately. While we have enough to get by, or stay afloat and tread water as I have been expressing to friends lately, we are not moving forward AT ALL. I couldn't tell you the last time we put money in savings and for the first time in years we are carrying a credit card balance -- this is in large part because of the emergency bathroom work we had to in July. We can easily pay in full, but it makes me nervous to not have funds immediately available so I am taking my time with this for peace of mind.
The thing is, I really have zero desire to go do something else. I genuinely love being home three days with our son. We have him in daycare two days so he can get socialization and its payoffs have been huge! But I love that we can sleep in until 8:15(as we did yesterday) and I will be greeted by a very happy rested little monkey "Good Morning Mammeee" when I go in his room. I love that he shows me triangles when he sees them and that we can have playdates where he dances and grooves with his friends, as we did on Monday.
He is only going to be 2 once. We have food on our plates, a roof over our heads and are not completely deprieved. In the grand scheme of things, living in 800 sf is not the worst of all equations.
But we are still not moving forward. If anything I feel like I am in a permenant holding pattern waiting for something to happen.
I am very torn. The only job that seems the slightest bit appealing to me is that of a high school teacher. Its what I always wanted to do. I am a few credits short and I figure it would be two years before I realisticially can get in the classroom.
This is not a SAHM vs. WAHM debate. Everyone woman and family needs to decide whats right for them. There are no easy answers or solutions. The person who said you can have it all lied. I don't need to win the lotto (although we did buy tickets last night, alas we didn't win), but I do need figure out what is best for us in the long-term.
Do I stay doing the job I love that pays nothing but is rewarding beyond words, or is staying selfish? Should I go and find a part-time or full-time job and then be able to pay for things for my son, but then also be torn between doing things with him and doing all the other things I feel need being done (the aforementioned jobs) on the weekend and spend even less time with him? I simply don't know or have the answers....
My most important job, I feel, is taking car of my family. That means cooking, cleaning, feeding, making sure my boys are healthy, keeping the house (relatively) neat, keeping myself healthy, shopping, banking, making sure our finances are in check...the list goes on and on.
Its this last point that has me on edge though lately. While we have enough to get by, or stay afloat and tread water as I have been expressing to friends lately, we are not moving forward AT ALL. I couldn't tell you the last time we put money in savings and for the first time in years we are carrying a credit card balance -- this is in large part because of the emergency bathroom work we had to in July. We can easily pay in full, but it makes me nervous to not have funds immediately available so I am taking my time with this for peace of mind.
The thing is, I really have zero desire to go do something else. I genuinely love being home three days with our son. We have him in daycare two days so he can get socialization and its payoffs have been huge! But I love that we can sleep in until 8:15(as we did yesterday) and I will be greeted by a very happy rested little monkey "Good Morning Mammeee" when I go in his room. I love that he shows me triangles when he sees them and that we can have playdates where he dances and grooves with his friends, as we did on Monday.
He is only going to be 2 once. We have food on our plates, a roof over our heads and are not completely deprieved. In the grand scheme of things, living in 800 sf is not the worst of all equations.
But we are still not moving forward. If anything I feel like I am in a permenant holding pattern waiting for something to happen.
I am very torn. The only job that seems the slightest bit appealing to me is that of a high school teacher. Its what I always wanted to do. I am a few credits short and I figure it would be two years before I realisticially can get in the classroom.
This is not a SAHM vs. WAHM debate. Everyone woman and family needs to decide whats right for them. There are no easy answers or solutions. The person who said you can have it all lied. I don't need to win the lotto (although we did buy tickets last night, alas we didn't win), but I do need figure out what is best for us in the long-term.
Do I stay doing the job I love that pays nothing but is rewarding beyond words, or is staying selfish? Should I go and find a part-time or full-time job and then be able to pay for things for my son, but then also be torn between doing things with him and doing all the other things I feel need being done (the aforementioned jobs) on the weekend and spend even less time with him? I simply don't know or have the answers....
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Organic v. savings?
We are trying to eat healthier. For a host of reasons I have been reading labels, tracking vitamin content and making choices. An example, on vacation last month, my father-in-law told me my fat-free half-and-half was really just high fructose corn syrup. I had no idea. I will read labels up and down for my son, but never had before this for us.
Until now.
This week I spent $10 on two boxes of cereal bars for my husband for work. Expensive, but at $2 per meal over a two week period, I could stomach it. THen I compared against the cereal bars I buy for the monkey, and his bars are just as good at $1.69 a box! I can buy three boxes of his for the price of one for my husband. Since they are just as good, my husband and son will now have the same ones...that is once my hubby has finished his 24k gold-filled cereal bars. Ugh.
I read this article in Time yesterday with interest. It was the first one in awhile I had sat down and read. Now I am wondering if I should buy organic all the time? I have been hearing from friends organic milk is the way to go, and I am nearly convinced. With the egg recalls, I am wondering if we should get organic eggs too. The health content makes it a no brainer, but the price is insane. I am at a loss. And then meat, fruits and veggies too?
So I don't know. What I do know is I want my family to eat healthy. I don't want us in debt to the high ceilings. And I definitely want us all to live long healthy lives. I don't have any solutions....what are yours?
Until now.
This week I spent $10 on two boxes of cereal bars for my husband for work. Expensive, but at $2 per meal over a two week period, I could stomach it. THen I compared against the cereal bars I buy for the monkey, and his bars are just as good at $1.69 a box! I can buy three boxes of his for the price of one for my husband. Since they are just as good, my husband and son will now have the same ones...that is once my hubby has finished his 24k gold-filled cereal bars. Ugh.
I read this article in Time yesterday with interest. It was the first one in awhile I had sat down and read. Now I am wondering if I should buy organic all the time? I have been hearing from friends organic milk is the way to go, and I am nearly convinced. With the egg recalls, I am wondering if we should get organic eggs too. The health content makes it a no brainer, but the price is insane. I am at a loss. And then meat, fruits and veggies too?
So I don't know. What I do know is I want my family to eat healthy. I don't want us in debt to the high ceilings. And I definitely want us all to live long healthy lives. I don't have any solutions....what are yours?
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Way to Save
Loyal Readers know that hate and loathe are not strong enough words to describe how I feel about the good people at Wells Fargo. If you want a refresher course, feel free to click here or here.
BUT....I will say that the Wachovia program Way to Save has been a BIG helper to us. July was no exception. I tie these two companies together since they are now one and the same.
The way it works is everytime we use our debit card, $1 is transferred into a savings account. This money earns precious little interest, but since its an immediate transfer, we never feel the pinch. In July we had to dip into our regular savings for major home improvements but when the end of the month rolled around we still were dangerously close to the $0 balance line.
I transferred $50 from this account and we should be in the clear until the next pay day. Its not a huge amount I will grant you, but the breathing room this gives us is huge. Overdraft fees are a big problem, so its nice to not have to worry about them.
BUT....I will say that the Wachovia program Way to Save has been a BIG helper to us. July was no exception. I tie these two companies together since they are now one and the same.
The way it works is everytime we use our debit card, $1 is transferred into a savings account. This money earns precious little interest, but since its an immediate transfer, we never feel the pinch. In July we had to dip into our regular savings for major home improvements but when the end of the month rolled around we still were dangerously close to the $0 balance line.
I transferred $50 from this account and we should be in the clear until the next pay day. Its not a huge amount I will grant you, but the breathing room this gives us is huge. Overdraft fees are a big problem, so its nice to not have to worry about them.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
July was a challenging month
It seems the last few months have been hard for me to get online, talk about money saving tips, and get ideas. I hope and pray August is different.
My father passed away last month. Anyone who knew JJ knew he liked to save a buck better than anyone. He was a leftie, but it was cheaper to buy rightie golf clubs, so he did. He sacrificed an incredible amount to make sure my brothers and I received a Catholic education (because in Baltimore you just don't send your kids to public school). He always wanted what was best for us. I take comfort in knowing he is upstairs watching out for all of us. I will try to be better about posting here as a way to honor him.
We also went on vacation in July. While we drove 10 hours each way, it didn't cost us that much because we had already budgeted for it. All our spending money came from our Pennies in Jar and the money we would normally spend during a week. And the cost of rent on the most beautiful lake anywhere was covered by a freelance job I had several months ago. I put the money aside immediately so we never felt the pinch.
I have decided I need to be doing more freelance work if we are ever going to escape our 800 sf of love, so I have a few ideas I may be bouncing around in the coming months.
Sorry this is rambly. More later.
PS to the spammers who keep trying to post. I am deleting all your posts, so please stop. Thank you.
My father passed away last month. Anyone who knew JJ knew he liked to save a buck better than anyone. He was a leftie, but it was cheaper to buy rightie golf clubs, so he did. He sacrificed an incredible amount to make sure my brothers and I received a Catholic education (because in Baltimore you just don't send your kids to public school). He always wanted what was best for us. I take comfort in knowing he is upstairs watching out for all of us. I will try to be better about posting here as a way to honor him.
We also went on vacation in July. While we drove 10 hours each way, it didn't cost us that much because we had already budgeted for it. All our spending money came from our Pennies in Jar and the money we would normally spend during a week. And the cost of rent on the most beautiful lake anywhere was covered by a freelance job I had several months ago. I put the money aside immediately so we never felt the pinch.
I have decided I need to be doing more freelance work if we are ever going to escape our 800 sf of love, so I have a few ideas I may be bouncing around in the coming months.
Sorry this is rambly. More later.
PS to the spammers who keep trying to post. I am deleting all your posts, so please stop. Thank you.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Pennies in a jar
Lots of them! And nickels, dimes, quarters and even a few of the new gold dollar coins...not to mention spare dollars we have here and there. And what was the total...$142 and change!
Every year about this time I dump the big water bottle I have and count the money inside. A few years back I had $131 and thought that was good. I even joked with my husband tonight that I didn't think we would come close to the previous high. I was wrong.
This is how I do it. In July I start collecting all the spare change left in pockets for laundry, on tables, the couch, wherever I find it. I start putting in the water bottle. I also ad spare dollars that we have at the end of weeks floating around, as well as FIP money we receive from aunts, parents, etc. If something is sold on Craigslist, the money goes in the bottle too.
I know $142 isn't a lot. But its nice to have that money NOW and its money we wouldnt otherwise have if we didn't collect and place in the bottle. Even our son has gotten in the habit. He sees spare pennies or dimes on the floor and he runs to place in the big water bottle.
Happy 4th!
Every year about this time I dump the big water bottle I have and count the money inside. A few years back I had $131 and thought that was good. I even joked with my husband tonight that I didn't think we would come close to the previous high. I was wrong.
This is how I do it. In July I start collecting all the spare change left in pockets for laundry, on tables, the couch, wherever I find it. I start putting in the water bottle. I also ad spare dollars that we have at the end of weeks floating around, as well as FIP money we receive from aunts, parents, etc. If something is sold on Craigslist, the money goes in the bottle too.
I know $142 isn't a lot. But its nice to have that money NOW and its money we wouldnt otherwise have if we didn't collect and place in the bottle. Even our son has gotten in the habit. He sees spare pennies or dimes on the floor and he runs to place in the big water bottle.
Happy 4th!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
The joys of home ownership
We have to have our bathroom redone.
We knew when we bought this place we would have to redo the bathroom before we sold. I was just hoping that when the time came it would be because we chose to do so, and not because we were forced.
As you may remember from last fall, we spent a healthy chunk of change getting the pipes fixed. It appears we will have to spend at least that much again to fix the bathroom. The problem is there is a leak that is slowly spreading water into the base of our son's room. The mold is not bad, so say the experts, but now that we know about the problem both my husband and I want to get fixed. ASAP.
The remodel is not completely huge. We are keeping the sink, toilet, vanity, and mirror (which I hate). We have to have all new shower tile and new floors. And we have to keep our fingers crossed that fixing this will stop the leak in his room AND that when they tear down the walls to get to the leak, that they won't find anything worse.
I haven't been blogging as much as I did before. It seems the thing that is most on my mind is getting out of these 800 sf and what I can do about it. Since there doesn't appear to be an immediate solution, I don't want to sound like a broken record. And since I haven't seen any good deals lately, I haven't been posting those. I hope I can get back to this more, I know now that is a broken record.
What I will say is this though, a friend recently asked me two questions. First, was living here making me miserable? Yes, I quickly replied. I told him that I would do X to get out of this condo and have the banks refinance us so we could rent someplace larger while still paying our obligations here. I said that he could make X just about anything he could think of and the answer would still be the same. I desperately want more space.
His second question was more telling though, for him and for me. He asked if my misery was affecting my life. I said no. Aside from stepping on what seems to be my son's endless supply of blocks and cars (and he is only 2!!!), I am relatively happy. I love my husband, even if he leaves his clothes everywhere. I love my son more everyday. I have great friends and an amazing family. I am grateful for what I have. I know that I am lucky.
But...I am still miserable, something he said was not possible if it was not affecting my life, but I beg to differ, in my 800 sf of love. Hopefully this bathroom renovation will get us one teeny tiny step closer to my goal of getting out of here. At least I am getting my black and white diamond flooring, that's a silver lining for ya!
We knew when we bought this place we would have to redo the bathroom before we sold. I was just hoping that when the time came it would be because we chose to do so, and not because we were forced.
As you may remember from last fall, we spent a healthy chunk of change getting the pipes fixed. It appears we will have to spend at least that much again to fix the bathroom. The problem is there is a leak that is slowly spreading water into the base of our son's room. The mold is not bad, so say the experts, but now that we know about the problem both my husband and I want to get fixed. ASAP.
The remodel is not completely huge. We are keeping the sink, toilet, vanity, and mirror (which I hate). We have to have all new shower tile and new floors. And we have to keep our fingers crossed that fixing this will stop the leak in his room AND that when they tear down the walls to get to the leak, that they won't find anything worse.
I haven't been blogging as much as I did before. It seems the thing that is most on my mind is getting out of these 800 sf and what I can do about it. Since there doesn't appear to be an immediate solution, I don't want to sound like a broken record. And since I haven't seen any good deals lately, I haven't been posting those. I hope I can get back to this more, I know now that is a broken record.
What I will say is this though, a friend recently asked me two questions. First, was living here making me miserable? Yes, I quickly replied. I told him that I would do X to get out of this condo and have the banks refinance us so we could rent someplace larger while still paying our obligations here. I said that he could make X just about anything he could think of and the answer would still be the same. I desperately want more space.
His second question was more telling though, for him and for me. He asked if my misery was affecting my life. I said no. Aside from stepping on what seems to be my son's endless supply of blocks and cars (and he is only 2!!!), I am relatively happy. I love my husband, even if he leaves his clothes everywhere. I love my son more everyday. I have great friends and an amazing family. I am grateful for what I have. I know that I am lucky.
But...I am still miserable, something he said was not possible if it was not affecting my life, but I beg to differ, in my 800 sf of love. Hopefully this bathroom renovation will get us one teeny tiny step closer to my goal of getting out of here. At least I am getting my black and white diamond flooring, that's a silver lining for ya!
Friday, June 11, 2010
My book
Like every writer I often fancy myself that I will write the Great American Novel. Those who know me know I already wrote a book, but its more like a reference book and while I am proud of the accomplishment, its not the NYT bestseller I often envision I could write.
I have so many ideas, but the one that is in my head most often is to write a letter to my fresh-out-of-college self. Among tips on dating, girlfriends, boyfriends, roommates, jobs, etc. I would have several chapters on money. This is on my mind now because I am paying my student loan, perhaps THE BIGGEST money mistake of my life!!
No, not going to college or grad school, that was not the mistake. And not putting the majority of my grad school on student loan. No, the mistake was listening to others who swore I had to refinance and consolidate my grad and undergrad loans. As a result of this stupid move, when I locked myself into a 7.35% loan, when all is said and done I will have nearly paid DOUBLE what the original loan was for. DOUBLE!
I had always complained to my husband that my loan was a money pit. But it wasn't until we went and bought a car last fall that he saw in detail how BAD it was. He now wonders how the good people at Citibank sleep at night knowing how bad they are and did take it to the people. It makes me so sick to think about it.
So my biggest piece of money advice for anyone, but especially new college grads or anyone trying to refinance, make sure YOU understand the terms and what you are signing up for. Sure, no one could forsee how low the rates would go so that 7.35% would be sky high, but I had government loans, there was NO NEED to refiniance. NONE.
Now, if only the good people at Citibank (or anywhere else) would allow me to refinance our mortgage....
I have so many ideas, but the one that is in my head most often is to write a letter to my fresh-out-of-college self. Among tips on dating, girlfriends, boyfriends, roommates, jobs, etc. I would have several chapters on money. This is on my mind now because I am paying my student loan, perhaps THE BIGGEST money mistake of my life!!
No, not going to college or grad school, that was not the mistake. And not putting the majority of my grad school on student loan. No, the mistake was listening to others who swore I had to refinance and consolidate my grad and undergrad loans. As a result of this stupid move, when I locked myself into a 7.35% loan, when all is said and done I will have nearly paid DOUBLE what the original loan was for. DOUBLE!
I had always complained to my husband that my loan was a money pit. But it wasn't until we went and bought a car last fall that he saw in detail how BAD it was. He now wonders how the good people at Citibank sleep at night knowing how bad they are and did take it to the people. It makes me so sick to think about it.
So my biggest piece of money advice for anyone, but especially new college grads or anyone trying to refinance, make sure YOU understand the terms and what you are signing up for. Sure, no one could forsee how low the rates would go so that 7.35% would be sky high, but I had government loans, there was NO NEED to refiniance. NONE.
Now, if only the good people at Citibank (or anywhere else) would allow me to refinance our mortgage....
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
The mortgage crisis
We pay our mortgage every month. On time. Some months it even arrives early. We pay in full. We bought this condo when we were both employed bringing home about 30percent more than we are now. Our mortgage payment now takes up more than half of our take home pay, which everyone says is a big no-no.
We have tried for more than a year to get Wells Fargo, who I HATE, to refinance or modify our loan. Each time we get rejected for reasons that escape me. We are not asking to pay less than is owed (although we would certainly take it). All I want is to get locked into a 30 year fixed, and if that means we are paying more than we are paying now, than so be it. We can't rent this place out until we refinance, and as I have noted many times, these 800 sf are driving me bonkers!
Each time they reject us they immediately ask us to start short sale proceedings! They called at 8 pm on New Years Eve to do this and I nearly lost it. We do not want to do short sale!!! And why would they? They would lose money. Why won't they help us to pay what is owed? We want to be fair. We are not asking for special treatment.
We have excellent credit, well north of 700 for both of us on all three credit tables. But when I read articles like this, I wonder, should we just stop paying? Would that finally get their attention?
This is what gauls me the most about this crisis. People who don't pay, who are falling behind and over extended and taking advantage of the system, they are the one's who get help. But us, the honest people, get nothing. A very good friend named Pat told us that in order to get the bank to pay attention, Pat stopped paying. Eventually the bank did pay attention, the loan was modified and while Pat still owes the same amount overall, the payments have actually gone down!!
I actually hate Wells Fargo. I am sure they are not alone in their inability or lack of a desire to help. While I don't want to do anything to hurt our credit, something I have to believe will help us in the long run to keep high, I also sometimes wonder if not paying is the way to go?
We have tried for more than a year to get Wells Fargo, who I HATE, to refinance or modify our loan. Each time we get rejected for reasons that escape me. We are not asking to pay less than is owed (although we would certainly take it). All I want is to get locked into a 30 year fixed, and if that means we are paying more than we are paying now, than so be it. We can't rent this place out until we refinance, and as I have noted many times, these 800 sf are driving me bonkers!
Each time they reject us they immediately ask us to start short sale proceedings! They called at 8 pm on New Years Eve to do this and I nearly lost it. We do not want to do short sale!!! And why would they? They would lose money. Why won't they help us to pay what is owed? We want to be fair. We are not asking for special treatment.
We have excellent credit, well north of 700 for both of us on all three credit tables. But when I read articles like this, I wonder, should we just stop paying? Would that finally get their attention?
This is what gauls me the most about this crisis. People who don't pay, who are falling behind and over extended and taking advantage of the system, they are the one's who get help. But us, the honest people, get nothing. A very good friend named Pat told us that in order to get the bank to pay attention, Pat stopped paying. Eventually the bank did pay attention, the loan was modified and while Pat still owes the same amount overall, the payments have actually gone down!!
I actually hate Wells Fargo. I am sure they are not alone in their inability or lack of a desire to help. While I don't want to do anything to hurt our credit, something I have to believe will help us in the long run to keep high, I also sometimes wonder if not paying is the way to go?
Monday, May 31, 2010
Wow! I can't believe its been a month
May just flew by!
As many of you know we had a rough month, sickness wise. The Monkey began the month recovering from his tick bite. Then as soon as that was over, he came down with strep..which infected me with a severe case of conjestion. THEN, as soon as his strep was over he got the stomach flu...the apparently 7 day variety, which in turn infected us AND every member of our family who cared for him while we couldn't!!
I am sorry I missed so many deals, and I know I did. Furthermore it gauls me how much we spent taking care of our sicknesses, Mucinex ain't cheap, neither is Pedialyte!
Hopefully June will be better and I will be back to daily postings. If you are still reading, thanks for sticking by...I promise to try to be better.
-Mary
As many of you know we had a rough month, sickness wise. The Monkey began the month recovering from his tick bite. Then as soon as that was over, he came down with strep..which infected me with a severe case of conjestion. THEN, as soon as his strep was over he got the stomach flu...the apparently 7 day variety, which in turn infected us AND every member of our family who cared for him while we couldn't!!
I am sorry I missed so many deals, and I know I did. Furthermore it gauls me how much we spent taking care of our sicknesses, Mucinex ain't cheap, neither is Pedialyte!
Hopefully June will be better and I will be back to daily postings. If you are still reading, thanks for sticking by...I promise to try to be better.
-Mary
Friday, April 30, 2010
What kids really need...
My son has a birtday coming up. He will be 2.
A lot of people have asked about what to get him for his bday. With our 800 sf of love, he really doesn't need anything (or I should probably say not sure I can handle him getting more since there is only so much my very generous brothers and sister-in-law can store in their basements). I tell them trucks, books and cars are always safe bets. He absolutely doesn't need clothes though since we are on the gravy train of hand me downs between my husband's cousin (whose sone is 6 months older than ours) and our godson, who just turned five.
I told Marie, my faithful-blog reading Mother-in-law, and my own Mom, that what my son really needs is either more space or more money for college. This article in today's New York Times scared the bejesus out of me!
I went to Providence College. I graduated 13 years ago. There is no chance I would have gone there had the tuition been anything close to $53k! I worked as an RA, in the library and took out student loans(that we will still be paying off when my son goes to college) to go there. I say proudly going there was the single best decision of my life, without it I never would have met my husband or had my son, and these two people mean more to me than anything in the world.
Many people feel this way about their college educations. It scares me though to think about how on earth we are going to pay for our son's education, and thats 16 years off. We do have a 529, but its got a paultry amount in it. The article has definitely encouraged me to start putting more in, even if its just $20/month.
If you don't have a 529, get one! If you do, make sure you are putting away what ever you can. And if people ask what to give your child, be honest. Sure they want to give fun gifts, who doesn't, but if you want to be honest, tell them what Katie and Jimmy really need...and its not a new truck or Barbie doll.
A lot of people have asked about what to get him for his bday. With our 800 sf of love, he really doesn't need anything (or I should probably say not sure I can handle him getting more since there is only so much my very generous brothers and sister-in-law can store in their basements). I tell them trucks, books and cars are always safe bets. He absolutely doesn't need clothes though since we are on the gravy train of hand me downs between my husband's cousin (whose sone is 6 months older than ours) and our godson, who just turned five.
I told Marie, my faithful-blog reading Mother-in-law, and my own Mom, that what my son really needs is either more space or more money for college. This article in today's New York Times scared the bejesus out of me!
I went to Providence College. I graduated 13 years ago. There is no chance I would have gone there had the tuition been anything close to $53k! I worked as an RA, in the library and took out student loans(that we will still be paying off when my son goes to college) to go there. I say proudly going there was the single best decision of my life, without it I never would have met my husband or had my son, and these two people mean more to me than anything in the world.
Many people feel this way about their college educations. It scares me though to think about how on earth we are going to pay for our son's education, and thats 16 years off. We do have a 529, but its got a paultry amount in it. The article has definitely encouraged me to start putting more in, even if its just $20/month.
If you don't have a 529, get one! If you do, make sure you are putting away what ever you can. And if people ask what to give your child, be honest. Sure they want to give fun gifts, who doesn't, but if you want to be honest, tell them what Katie and Jimmy really need...and its not a new truck or Barbie doll.
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