Lately I have been thinking a lot about whether or not I should try to re-enter the workforce. Since my second lay off due to the craptastic economy in May 2009 I have been home full time. I have looked for jobs, and am currently interviewing for two part time jobs, but nothing has excited me.
My most important job, I feel, is taking car of my family. That means cooking, cleaning, feeding, making sure my boys are healthy, keeping the house (relatively) neat, keeping myself healthy, shopping, banking, making sure our finances are in check...the list goes on and on.
Its this last point that has me on edge though lately. While we have enough to get by, or stay afloat and tread water as I have been expressing to friends lately, we are not moving forward AT ALL. I couldn't tell you the last time we put money in savings and for the first time in years we are carrying a credit card balance -- this is in large part because of the emergency bathroom work we had to in July. We can easily pay in full, but it makes me nervous to not have funds immediately available so I am taking my time with this for peace of mind.
The thing is, I really have zero desire to go do something else. I genuinely love being home three days with our son. We have him in daycare two days so he can get socialization and its payoffs have been huge! But I love that we can sleep in until 8:15(as we did yesterday) and I will be greeted by a very happy rested little monkey "Good Morning Mammeee" when I go in his room. I love that he shows me triangles when he sees them and that we can have playdates where he dances and grooves with his friends, as we did on Monday.
He is only going to be 2 once. We have food on our plates, a roof over our heads and are not completely deprieved. In the grand scheme of things, living in 800 sf is not the worst of all equations.
But we are still not moving forward. If anything I feel like I am in a permenant holding pattern waiting for something to happen.
I am very torn. The only job that seems the slightest bit appealing to me is that of a high school teacher. Its what I always wanted to do. I am a few credits short and I figure it would be two years before I realisticially can get in the classroom.
This is not a SAHM vs. WAHM debate. Everyone woman and family needs to decide whats right for them. There are no easy answers or solutions. The person who said you can have it all lied. I don't need to win the lotto (although we did buy tickets last night, alas we didn't win), but I do need figure out what is best for us in the long-term.
Do I stay doing the job I love that pays nothing but is rewarding beyond words, or is staying selfish? Should I go and find a part-time or full-time job and then be able to pay for things for my son, but then also be torn between doing things with him and doing all the other things I feel need being done (the aforementioned jobs) on the weekend and spend even less time with him? I simply don't know or have the answers....
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This is a tough one, my thoughts are if you can afford to live and not cut out the basics, then being home is what I would do. Think of it as a five year plan, when he is five he will be in school, at which point you could work without missing anything. You could also spend this SAHM time going to school and getting those credits you need. That way when the time comes, you could be a teacher as JPB enters school. Thus giving you all of the same breaks he would get from school. Closest thing to being a SAHM. I hope that makes sense and didn't come off as opinionated. Just what I would do idealistically.
ReplyDeletePS You can now by recyclable ziplocs, just a thought lmao.
I like opinions...bring 'em on! I have thought about that and am seriously considering it. My argument for going sooner rather than later is that The Monkey won't remember if I changed his diaper today or we went to playgroup. He will remember if I was at his soccer or lacrosse games. And God willing we have more children, what then? I like the five year plan idea though. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI have a part-time at home job- 2 days a week I watch 2 other boys in our home (could easily be done in their home.) Am I exhausted on the days I spend with 4 under 4, yes, but the pay is a nice extra cushion that allows us to eat out occasionally, buy gifts, etc. Also I am with my children and they are getting some socialization as well. My house is a disaster, but I don't have to pump... it's all about compromise!
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