Taking my own advice

This is definitely an off topic post, but I think its relevant to all mom's who are trying to keep their sanity and their wallets full. I have no idea how long it will be, so my apologies in advance.

Yesterday my friend "Kayla" and I were out with our kids. Without getting into specifics, Kayla found herself in a situation for which she had no control. She was understandably upset by it, and she was also upset over how she handled everything. I tried to reassure her that she was an excellent mother and that she handled the situation appropriately. Furthermore, in the future if something similar should occur, she could and likely would remember what happened now and use that knowledge to handle it differently.

Parenting is definitely a learning experience, and we can't change over night. Furthermore, none of us moms (and dads too, but I don't think they worry as much about it) are perfect. We are not superhuman, we are simply human. We try to be the best wives and mothers we can. If our family is healthy and happy, then the rest is all gravy. Eventually the clothes, dishes, chores, bills, notes, etc. will all get done. But no matter how hard we try, we will never be the "perfect" mother/wife/daughter/sister/friend/cousin/niece/granddaughter/employee/or whatever other title fits the bill.

Last night I found myself in a situation, vastly different from Kayla's but nonetheless one that caused me to question if I was doing the right thing, or somehow failing at my multiple responsibilities. I was, and still am, upset about it.

I have mentioned many times before that in the last year I have learned so much about how truly appreciative I am of my family, meaning my loving (even if he is messy) husband, and my very healthy, happy (and extremely active) son. I mean it when I say, I would rather live in a box with them, than in a mansion without.

But in keeping these two people healthy and happy, I have inevitably failed others. In my efforts to bring in extra money through freelance work, my time has evaporated. I know I forgot to send birthday cards/presents to my mother-in-law and two sisters-in-law. I have absolutely neglected to send thank you notes to countless family and friends for gifts and thoughtful tokens. And wedding presents, lets just say I am taking advanatage of the whole "year rule" in 2009 and 2010 way more than I used to. Its not that I don't appreciate them, or remember them, its that I simply have felt I don't have the time.

I have told myself that as long as I eventually acknowledge them, that its ok. They (whoever the they is) will understand. The head part of me agrees, while the heart part doesn't. I know I need to do better and that I was raised better. But also, listening back to what I told Kayla, I know I am not super woman. I am human, and can only do so much.

I am not justifying or defending my lapses. I would be angry or disappointed in me too. But I am offering a sincere apology and also hopefully an explanation. I wish I could do more, but right now my plate is full. That doesn't mean I won't go for dessert, I can assure you I will.

I will close with this. So last night was hard and I was sad. But just as I was going to bed, I got an email from my beautiful niece. She has had a harder week than most of us face in our lifetimes. She is so strong and has a long life ahead of her filled with endless possibilities. On facebook she sent me this:

i just wanted to let you know that i love you and i appreciate everything you do for me because it means the world to me

This little note quite literally made my day! She accepts me flaws and all, and knows how deeply I love her and loves me back. Thank you Lauren, you have no idea how much that note meant!

So please, if you are a wife/mom know its ok not to be perfect. And if you have a friend or family member who is a wife/mom, remember they have full plates and just because they don't always do what they should, doesn't mean they have forgotten you, it just means they are a slower eater than they used to be.

Send them a note, or pick up the phone. Chances are they are just busy with their own "life administration" duties and have fallen behind. And thats ok, because Wonder Woman doesn't exist, except in the comics.